Xing is clearly misunderstood, but his understanding of others is also shallow and one-dimensional. My feelings about Xing took an interesting turn about halfway through the book and I had a hard time reconciling some of his choices.

Bottom line: it’s tough sometimes not to default to a well-known stereotype about a group of people, or to resist the temptation to form our opinions based on what somebody appears to be when placed in the context of popular culture or mass media. I’m challenging myself to try to become more aware of my own perceptions of others rather than focusing on wrongs done to me or members of my family — I don’t want to perpetuate the myths or the stereotypes. In other words, it’s human nature for people to misunderstand or mistrust that which is unfamiliar and I can’t change that — I can only change my own behavior.

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A perfect book to read while waiting for an oil change and tire rotation.

This is one of a handful of books that spawned the Chick-Lit genre. And while I think this is the only one I’ll ever read, it wasn’t as horrible as I expected it to be. At 89 cents for the Kindle version, I feel like I got my money’s worth.

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Three Bags Full was unexpectedly enjoyable — and while I typically don’t enjoy mysteries or anthropomorphic novels, this was a worthwhile departure for me. If you enjoyed the dimwitted sheep in Babe (the movie), in Three Bags Full, these sheep are intelligent and observant, and ultimately able to help solve the murder of their beloved shepherd. There were some comical moments during their encounters with humans that were so well-written that it didn’t end up being silly.

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I’ll give you the good news first: My son still loves to read and still enjoys his books.

All of my battles are waged in the background, via phone calls and emails, and he’s not aware of them. If you’ll remember, he didn’t enjoy reading at all (dreaded it, in fact) until late last summer when he discovered books that he enjoys. So it was still quite precarious for him and I felt he could have a setback with the smallest bit of discouragement – or even subtle lack of encouragement – at school.

I was told repeatedly that he absolutely could not take an Accelerated Reader (“AR”) quiz that was outside his range. All the children are tested periodically (every nine weeks?) via the STAR Reading Assessment – and the outcome of that test determines his reading level — which, I learned, then becomes the completely inflexible range which he cannot and will not be allowed to deviate from when taking a quiz. Additionally, for his weekly reading log (for which he receives a grade), he must read 100 minutes per week, but only from books that are in his range. (For my son, that range is 3.0 to 4.5). In fact, early in the school year, I was told that for purposes of AR quizzes and the reading log minutes, that he could only read books from the school library, or as a rare exception, the classroom library. I decided that although I am usually a strict rule-follower, that I would defend to the end our right to choose books in his range from our own home, from the community library, from our local bookstore, or from books that I could purchase online. We parents are given a link to the Renaissance Learning website where we can follow our child’s progress toward his goals and also search their AR Book Finder database in order to choose books by interest level and range for which an AR quiz is offered. The school district has paid tens of thousands of dollars for Renaissance Learning materials and resources, and unless my son’s school guarantees that my child has access to every book in his range for which they offer a quiz, I am going to assume that if we own the book that’s in his range, he can certainly read it, record the minutes on his log, fill out a two-page activity sheet, fill out a form in the front of his 3-ring AR binder at school, and finally . . . take an AR quiz.

So our son, a formerly reluctant reader, received a book during his classroom’s holiday party that was a bit outside his range. He started reading the book and enjoyed it so much he wanted the other three books in the series. We got them for him during the holiday break and he proceeded to read and re-read all of them. I later looked up the books on the website and noticed they were slightly higher than his range, so I made a mental note to ask his reading teacher after the break if she could make an exception and allow him to test on the books in the series. Meanwhile, I was guiding him to other books in his range for which he could take a quiz. During an impromptu parent/teacher conference in early February, I told his reading teacher how much he enjoyed the Diary of a Wimpy Kids series and requested that he be allowed to take another STAR Assessment in order to see if his range would be raised enough to allow him to “legally” take the AR quizzes for those books. She said she would test him. Last week, I finally called her to follow up since it had been so long. She told me that she had forgotten to test him after our conference. But . . . coincidentally, she said that all the third graders were taking the STAR Assessment the very next morning and she would inform me of the results. And this is what I got via email the next day, after his quiz:

I apologize again for forgetting to test [ . . .] after our conference. I did test
him today, however his level actually dropped. I am not going to lower it from
where it was, but he still will not be able to test on the higher level books.
I cannot test again either this quick. I’m sorry he will not be able to test
on them. I am glad though that he enjoyed reading them.

Okay. But really . . . it was not okay. I replied right away:

Thank you for your email. I would like to know if there’s any reason he cannot test on the Wimpy Kids books or the Captain Underpants books that he has read.

If this is an issue, I would like to confer with you and whoever else might need to be involved to get approval for him to take AR tests. I do not agree with discouraging him from reading good books just because they aren’t in his level. He should be able to do this for his sense of competence and confidence. . .

And then, I basically just lost it. I lost all of my desire to sit quietly with my hands folded and allow this system to prevail without expressing (on behalf of my son) how I felt about it. Maybe I over-reacted. Maybe I revealed a little hysteria when I discussed this with his principal later that day and became, essentially, that mom. While I was railing against “the system” and their policies on the phone with him, I had received this email from his teacher:

Thank you for your email. I completely respect your perspective on this
situation. However, the Accelerator Reader Guidelines are established by the
program with the best interest of the students in mind. Specifically we don’t’
want his feelings of competence and confidence to be diminished by doing poorly
on a test that is above his tested independent reading level. This level is
based on what he can accomplish independently without any assistance so he can
feel the achievement is truly his and not assisted in any way. The reason this
program has been so successful is because of these guidelines and that is why
they are school policy here at [ . . . Elementary]. I know this seems restrictive
to you, but this is why there is a wide range established so he has a variety
of books to choose from. There are so many wonderful books to choose from in
his range that he should still be able to feel successful and confident in his
abilities.

Keeping all of this information in mind, he can test on the books he read last
nine weeks that are above his level if you still want him too [emphasis mine].
However, if he does do poorly that will affect his average for the 4th nine weeks and will not
be able to be removed. From here on out though, we need to work together to
make sure all of the books he reads and tests on are in his level so we do not
run into this problem in the future [emphasis mine]. I so appreciate all of your dedication
given to [his] success and the support you have given this year.

Let me stop here and take a deep breath and share how much my son has enjoyed his school this year — and how much he loves his teachers and expresses that he misses them when he’s not at school. I have also enjoyed his teachers and we’ve worked very well together on his behalf on everything else. It’s this ONE THING that we have struggled to come to terms with, but in my mind, it’s the hill I have to take for him — because it IS important. The love of reading, or at least an enjoyment of it, will affect his entire school career and ultimately, his future. I’ve been aware of the policies and the system all along and I was certainly doing my best to work within it, regardless of how I felt about it. I’ve been impressed by his teachers all year long for being responsive to our son, sensing his needs and helping him remain positive. My intention was never to campaign to go above his range, but to work with what we were given. It wasn’t an issue until he received this book by chance.

But even though I was angered by the way it was presented, by the implication that he would do poorly on the test (because, you know, those ranges are infallible), we at least had the victory that he could test on the books. He took the first one on Wednesday after he filled out the required two-page “activity sheet.” There were ten questions on the AR quiz. He missed one. He got 90%. We celebrated by going to the bookstore that night and purchasing eight more books of his choosing, in his range (except for the one I got just because he wanted it — he sat and read it cover to cover while he ate a cookie in the store’s cafe).

Inspired by Malcolm Gladwell’s Late Bloomers.

Books I’ve finished this week: Stargirl, by Jerry Spinelli, Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, and When You Reach Me, by Rebecca Stead – all of them are 5-star books and highly recommended

I have had a wonderful holiday — how about you? There were a few days during all the pre-holiday madness that I thought I was getting sick, but I’m grateful I didn’t. It was just my body telling me to slow down and rest. So I did — and it helped.

I’ve been reading a lot — and re-reading some old favorites. If you have kids in your life, I can’t recommend this book enough. I first read it when Erica was two years old and it helped guide me in choosing read aloud picture books. Eighteen years later, those books are timeless and still richly entertaining and satisfying for the boys. I’ve not been reading aloud as much as I should, but that’s going to change in 2010. I also ordered The Book Whisperer, by Donalyn Miller and can’t wait to read it. I’ve gotten so much out of her blog and it’s helped me to source good books for my oldest son.

And just for me, the biggest treat was reading Amy Tan’s The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life. She writes a lot about her mom and the grandmother she never knew except through stories and portraits. Reading it was personal, poignant and real. Like Amy, I never knew my grandmother, but her presence is felt through what my mom shares about her own life and the choice she made to marry an American and leave Japan — and her mother. I’ve often wondered about my grandmother’s perspective and wished I could have known her. In her book, Amy acknowledges that there’s a level of “knowing” her grandmother that’s experienced in dreams and intuition and she channels that in her writing. There are stories that need to be told and perhaps the granddaughter is the one to finally tell them. I’m hopeful.

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I’m SO over 2009 and can’t wait for 2010. But the best thing about 2009? The best thing I did this year was make time for reading again. My “to-read” list is getting longer every day. And I’m looking ahead a lot more than usual as the year closes. I’m hopeful. Focused. Determined. And ready to be more in control. Less buffeted.

Ambition or adaptability? Which is more important? I’ll try to share my own answer to that in 2010.

I believe it should be used as an assessment tool only, and/or an optional and fun tool for kids to gauge their comprehension of their favorite books — books they would have been reading anyway regardless of how many “points” were associated with it.

Here’s a succinct quote from the website for The Read-Aloud Handbook (my all-time favorite book about reading and choosing quality books for your family — and incidentally, the book I used as a guide when purchasing at school book fairs)

As I see it, the real problem arrived when districts bought the programs with the idea they would absolutely lift reading scores. “Listen,” declares the school board member, “if we’re spending $50 grand on this program that’s supposed to raise scores, then how can we allow it to be optional? You know the kids who’ll never opt for it—the ones with the low scores, who drag everyone else’s scores down. No—it’s gotta be mandatory participation.” And to cement it into place, the district makes the point system 25 percent of the child’s grade for a marking period. Oooops! They just took the “carrot” off the stick, leaving just the stick—a new grading weapon. . . .

I just spent my entire morning going through our books to identify whether we own books in my child’s “reading level” (determined by testing that takes several weeks of a teacher’s instruction time). And we do own many — I just had to identify the number of points each one carried. Over the years, I’ve accumulated a lot of books purchase through school book fairs (you know — the ones that benefit the school library and increase their collection of good books?) and I’m not surprised that I already own several that fall in to his range. The frustrating thing is that I was told that my son couldn’t take an A/R quiz unless he had checked out in the school’s library. Nevermind that we already own the book or could purchase a book. Whatever — it doesn’t matter now because I’ve already made the decision that it’s the one rule I’ll not comply with — I’ve spent many hundreds of dollars over the years accumulating books that I’ve moved across a few states over the last decade. If there’s an A/R quiz for a book we own and he’s reading it (and enjoying it), then he should be allowed to take a quiz on it.

Before taking a quiz, he has to fill out a graphic organizer along with the “in-class log” — two barriers to quiz-taking that I’m still not comfortable with. He has a designated day every week on which he is “guaranteed” an audience with his teacher to go over his progress and his goals and then to take a quiz (or quizzes) on the computer, and is supposedly allowed to take one any time and any day he is ready (as long as he’s completed an activity sheet/graphic organizer and also filled out the log).

So my challenge is working within this system (while following the “rules” and encouraging my children to do the same) and engaging my kids with good books to read while at the same time confining them to a reading level that might or might not contain books in which they have an interest. Luckily, I’ve found some excellent books on the Kindle. The issue hasn’t been about the lack of good books — it’s the lack of district support for reading those books (“Oh, I’m sorry, that’s above his reading level. He can’t take a quiz on that one”). And now I’m anticipating some resistance to the idea of allowing my boys to read “A/R” books that I purchase for the Kindle when there’s no physical book to take to school with them. But if the book has a quiz available and it’s in their reading level, and they’ve followed nearly all the rules, then I think they should absolutely be allowed to take the quiz. Did I mention I hate this?

Edited to add: Read #7 from this page on the Conroe ISD site. What a blatant contradiction of their mandatory A/R program (and it also contains a grammatical error)

I fully support the concept of promoting Sustained Silent Reading (“SSR”) in schools and at home and would love to see the A/R program used as the foundation to support SSR.

I promised a book review and I’m sorry it’s overdue. First I’d like to share some quotes from the book so you can decide right away if this is something you’d like to read. It was timely for me personally because I feel like I’m in a transitional time of my life, yet some reviews of this book on Amazon indicate that not everybody got as much out of this book as I did.

Clutter, in the context of SHEDing is symbolic of our attachment to something from the past that must be released in order to make room for change

Clutter is anything that no longer serves you

Because something is organized doesn’t mean it’s active and dynamic in supporting your theme.

I learned something about myself with my first pass at de-cluttering a few weeks ago — I was holding on to a lot of stuff simply for “inspiration.” It was clear that I was hoping that the items I had gathered would enhance my creativity in some way. And I’ve been blessed to be able to enjoy several years of freedom to choose creativity as a goal. But the inspirational input wasn’t resulting in a lot of productive output — a lot of lofty thought, yes, but not a lot to show for it. I remember having been more productive when forty of my waking hours per week were already spoken for. Back then, even in spite of having far fewer choices, I actually made measurable progress on my goals. I’ve realized this in the past but I had never actually figured out what my next steps should be.

Thanks to the book, and the author’s strong suggestion that the reader decide on a theme before continuing, I have a clear picture now of what all this de-cluttering and organizing is supposed to accomplish. I’ve been operating under a very broad theme of “creativity,” and gathering about me all the items I needed to foster that. And it’s not been a total failure – it just hasn’t produced much. So I immediately knew what I wanted my new theme to be: Productivity.

First I had to take a hard look at all the STUFF. If it’s not serving me and doesn’t support my theme, it goes. How it goes and where it goes is something that can be figured out throughout this process, but it’s mentally tagged as gone as soon as I recognize it. For instance, I know where I want the old magazines to go and while they’re not physically out of the house yet, they’re well on their way. Same with the clothes. Gone. But the most important idea relating to my theme going forward is that nothing will come in from now on (physically or mentally) that doesn’t support my theme. So yeah, it’s a way of dealing with the OLD stuff (we all need to know what to do with the old stuff), but it’s critically important to know whether something needs to enter our lives at all in the first place.

This first back-to-school week for my kids has gone well. Thank you for your thoughtful comments and emails on my previous post. Back-to-school week has also been my first “back-to-me” week. I had low expectations for filling my time the rest of this month because things will step up gradually beginning in September. I have big plans but wanted to bookend those plans with some silence and stillness first. And the photo? Last week was supposed to be my haircut, but it was postponed. Big changes should require a hairstyle change too, don’t you think?

I’ve continued to read a LOT, though that has leveled off as well. Meanwhile, my Kindle has been hijacked by either my husband or my oldest son and since they’ve been reading more, and I’m finding turning to my stack of “actual” books — including library books.

If you’ve been keeping up with me at Goodreads, you might notice that I’m reading a couple of books that have been on my “To Read” list for ages: A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table and The Soup Peddler’s Slow and Difficult Soups: Recipes and Reveries. I’m also looking forward to reading The Wordy Shipmates. (I’m back to reading some nonfiction in between the novels). Finally, I’m hopeful that I’ll get a lot out of this book too: SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life: A Four-Step Guide to Getting Unstuck. I’ve hit a wall with this summer’s de-cluttering and organizing and I hope that this book will address one of the next steps I need to take – dealing with issues of old magazines! I have Blueprint, Domino and a handful of Mary Engelbreit magazines that are taking up an entire shelf of one of my bookcases. I want to reclaim the space, but for some reason, can’t bring myself to just recycle those magazines. Of course, if anybody wants them and is willing to pay the shipping, I’ll send them to you. That’ll be the ideal solution.